Monday 12 October 2009

The law according to EBD LTD Line Management

EBD BIG BOSS:

"Ah Stuart, how are you today, I see you have a deadline coming up in ten days time, well, as we speak that is being moved up and will now be close of play tomorrow.

Oh and that guy you have doing all of the design work, weve just made him redundant as he had no real work to do.

Oh and you cant sign this work off because you are not a designer anymore.

Oh and all of the remaining designers are busy for the next two weeks, and we are getting rid of them as they become freed up anyway...

Oh and we cant accept escalations as this instruction has come down from shit hit the fan level already....

Oh and we are marking you down on your performance report for missing a deadline. Sorry but we have to send them in in advance nowadays and we cant wait to see if you pull off your normal miracle............
"

EBD management only reads Gartner reports telling them how marvellous we 'were' for customer service and so think they have the correct operating model....

EBD shareholders think we are marvelous for shedding overheads.

Gartner says our customers adore us so it must be so..

Does anyone recognise a trend here. ???

Saturday 10 October 2009

Fishing and the vaguaries of weather

Saturday, fishing trip, long overdue.

So you do all the proper safety stuff, look up the tides, look up the weather. BBC weather says showers, winds <10 knots. Should have known better, of course they missed the hurricane didnt they!

So travel 75 miles to Bradwell.

Amazingly Rodolfo starts on the button, and using the on board battery, pretty good since she's been sat idle since August. Piles of smoke though, till she warms up....

Right off we go, no sign of showers, in fact the sky is clear blue and no sign of wind.

Out into the estuary, so its a bit choppy but nothing alarming. zoom about a bit looking for fish with the fish finder. Find a likely spot in the middle of nowhere and drop anchor.

Right so this is fun, nearest boat is about 1 mile away.

Put out lines and sit on side of boat to have a drink. Notice that nearest boat is now < 1 mile away, but we are not going anywhere we are anchored....

Now, the thing about wind is that Wind = Waves. Waves = "A rated" theme park ride in boat.

By now the wind is getting up and the nearest boat is a few hundred yards away. Its got a bit topsy turvy so we put on the life jackets in case we fall in....

Although the fishfinder shows loads of fish, they dont seem very interested in being caught today! Nesarest boat is about 100 feet away.

How is it that in an area of water appromimating 10 sq miles the only two boats in plain sight are drifting towards each other? You'd think that the tide and winds would affect both boats the same, but clearly they dont. We are still anchored, so I guess we had better pull anchor and move.

Well while trying to do that, the other boat drifts past us at about 3 knotts, pretty slow and we have to push it away to avoid a collision. Because they were all fishing off the back they were not looking out forwards, their captain was in the cabin with a cuppa!

So one near miss above water and several hundred below water.

By now the winds have got up and its about a F5, thats white horses on the waves and quite unpleasant. Kevin has gone green so we head for cover behind the power station cooling intakes, a sort of super tanker sized structure in the middle of the estuary....

A little shelter here but after another 30 mins and still no fish we've both had enough and head in. Amazingly as we enter the harbour the wind drops to almost zero.....

Well even with the wind it could have been a summers day, not bad for mid October....

Thursday 8 October 2009

Kevins Scooter and other mundane pastimes

Kevins scooter, well it's Roberts scooter but Kevin rides it, is now end of life in a sort of worn out crankshaft sort of way.

Noise and smoke is all you can get out of it instead of something useful like a ride up the road....

It will cost more than a 16yr old ever sees in their lives to fix. So yesterday it dawns on Kevin that he will need money to get a bus, so he's volunteering for paid housework. It's great the lawns are mowed and the house has been hoovered!

Mind you I still had to do an hours washing up and there are still no forks to be seen.

Anyway then he wants a lift to college anyway, so much for buses, obviously they are cold and dirty things to be avoided..

So I have been ferrying Kevin around all week and to and from college, my poor car is starting to wonder if I've got it in for it, all these strange new journeys, and in the middle of the night.....

I have done 200 odd miles and spent all this months petrol allowance and its still only thursday.

Well more later...